This year is an exciting year for us because our family has two big exciting changes. First, as you can probably guess from the above countdown, we are excited to announce that we will be welcoming Crisenberry #3 in October. We are so grateful to be having another baby, and started to wonder if it was ever going to happen.
With Chase I ended up having to get on a fertility drug (Clomid) after a year of no success. With the help of a duo family fast (mine and Nathan's), we were blessed with the ability to have Chase, a healthy and adorable little boy. Shortly before we conceived Kai, our 2nd, I was surprised to find out I was pregnant again, and without any effort, but unfortunately that pregnancy ended in a miscarriage. To our surprise, just a month after our loss, we found out I was expecting again, which was very surprising, and miraculous in my mind. Kai joined our family and added even more fun. Then, well over a year ago, we decided we were ready to add to our family yet again. I figured it would be easy again, since other than conceiving Chase, things seemed to work out ok in that department. However, after many months of disappointment, nothing seemed to be working. I went to the doctor about nine months into things to see if there was anything that might not be working, and thankfully he decided to check my thyroid levels. I thought for sure this would amount to nothing since I didn't feel like I had any symptoms of hyper or hypothyroidism, but felt like "what the heck, we might as well check." To my surprise, my levels were WAY off, and I had extreme hypothyroidism, meaning an underactive thyroid. Typically people who have this condition battle their weight, lose their hair, have no energy, are depressed, and a number of other symptoms. I am blessed to come from good genes and have not had a problem with weight gain, and normally I am an optimistic person, but could tell that I wasn't completely myself a lot of the time. I have had dry skin for years, ever since going to school in Utah, but figured everyone has to use lotion. Anyway, I felt like I didn't fit the mold, and when I chose to see a specialist to help me get my levels normal, they were shocked to see me walk through the door, rather than someone really struggling with life. Anyway, after months and months of trying different amounts of thyroid medication, and my levels going from really high to really low, and then really, really high again, we finally seemed to get things right. I had also been taking clomid again, but after that didn't seem to be helping matters, I figured maybe now isn't the right time, or, I should be really grateful that we have two beautiful, healthy boys, and it is ok if we remain a family of four forever. We decided to ask our families one more time to join us on a family fast, and we were blessed that everyone was more than willing to help out, including my brother serving a mission in Brazil. Anyway, after more than a year, and me just deciding that now wasn't the time, I was more than shocked to find out that I was pregnant! One night I was feeling really sick and did NOT feel like making dinner. I called Nathan at work and said either I am coming down with something and if so I am not going to force myself to think of anything to make, or I am pregnant and if I ate something I would feel better anyway. Nathan said, just go take a test. I figured yeah, right, it isn't like I have taken 100s of these things and will ever see two lines in my life ever again, but I figured, well I did have a DollarTree test, I might as well. So I went and took the test and could not believe my eyes, what a shocker. Nathan couldn't believe it when I called him, and we immediately felt blessed that we got to experience this miracle again.
Trying to have a baby for a year can seem like a really long time, and for those of you who don't get pregnant right away, you know what I am talking about. Three months can seem like forever when you have made up your mind to have a baby. However, I am grateful for the time it takes us for three reasons: 1. It makes me realize that I am not the one in control of my life, and I can't always make things I want to have happen, happen. 2. It gives a small glimpse into what it would feel like to not be able to have children. I am not saying that I know what that feels like since I am very blessed to have conceived and carried babies to term, and not everyone is blessed with that gift. I know so many families that for whatever reason, have not been given this gift during this lifetime, and that breaks my heart. To not be able to conceive a baby makes you feel all kinds of thoughts and emotions that are not accurate, but hurt and can break your spirit. I really enjoyed the article in the Ensign this month entitled "Faith and Fertility" because this is something the church doesn't address much and I thought it was written very well and would be helpful to families in this situation. 3. Lastly, I am grateful because waiting a little bit of time makes all of the yucky aspects of pregnancy very welcome. If I got pregnant without even thinking about it, or by mistake, I can't imagine feeling sick 24 hours a day for 3+ months, as well as all of the other non-fun symptoms that come throughout the 9 months. However, as much as I don't like these feelings, I love that I am feeling them. In the end, I am grateful for this recent journey, for learning to have patience and faith, to know that my Savior knows what is best for me and my family, and has a different timetable for me; to learn that I have hypothyroidism/hashimoto's disease, and will now be on top of my health more, which will in turn help develop a healthier baby; and last I am grateful to once again learn the power of fasting.
Boy do I love change...I am so grateful to have these two changes coming in our life, and I love new adventures. Thank you to all of you that have been integral in supporting, encouraging, etc. regarding these two new adventures in our life.
